KNOW? READ ON.
Has there ever been a show as brutal as M*A*S*H? What was that about?
When I was a kid I used to dive- DIVE- for the remote whenever I heard that M*A*S*H theme song. Do you suppose that my future children will someday do the same when they hear the Friends theme song?
Kind of grainy, but here is a picture of my pal Wade- back from Iraq yesterday. I first met him in my kindergarten class, then spent 13 years with him until we graduated from HS (class of 37 people), and then- we even went to college together.
Dad (Bob), Matt, Wade and Jessica
I'm so glad he's made it this far safely. He's a fabulous guy and we are lucky to have him back. Welcome back Buddy!
What started as me in a bad mood (with the Target episode on Friday night), morphed into me inexplicably crying during the Iowa game (we were winning) and ended up with me in the part of Ms. Grumpers at work today. THIS lead to people being reeeaaalllly nice to me and giving me piña coladas.
And every sip of that virgin (wished it weren't) piña colada edged me closer to the normal, happy person I feel like now! And that's all it took.
Thanks pineappley, coconutty goodness!
It is currently halftime of the Iowa/Iowa State game. Since Iowa does not have ANY professional sports teams, this yearly match-up is like the Super Bowl around here. The rivary has been alive since 1894, and there is no middle ground here. You are a Hawkeye or a Cyclone.
I am happy to report that I am a die-hard Hawk, and we are currently kicking some ass. :)
Go Hawks!
UPDATE:
Geah...
Okay- I'm kind of PMSing right now, which may explain the letter I just wrote to the Super Target HQ. Jesse and I were already not in the best mood when we had to encounter extreme rudeness. Here are the sordid details:
I had just spent (a measly) $60 at the store when... ... ...
I am writing to inform you of a very unpleasant experience I just had at your new West Des Moines Super Target. As I was checking out, I asked for a roll of quarters in exchange for $10 cash. The cashier was not sure of what to do, so she flagged down a manager, who told me that I could get a roll of quarters at Guest Services.
When I approached the woman at Guest Services and asked for a roll of quarters, she simply said, "We don't do that." When I explained that a manager had told me that I could get some quarters there, she went to find another manager herself.
The 'manager' (not the same one) approached me and said again, "We don't do that. We don't sell change." I explained to her that I didn't want her to sell me any change, I just wanted to exchange my two five-dollar bills for some quarters. She replied again, "We don't sell change. That's what banks do."
While I appreciate the lesson on the functions of the banking system, at no time at 'Guest Services' did I feel like a guest-- and I certainly did not receive any service. I can understand if there is a policy at your stores that does not permit the exchange of cash for change, but this fact was never presented to me, nor was any apologetic reasoning whatsoever.
This may not seem like a large issue, but I must admit that it will take dire circumstances for me to visit a store again where I have been treated so rudely. There are too many options out there for me to waste my time where I am not appreciated as a customer.
I plan to share this experience with my friends and family. I hope that you share this with the managers in the West Des Moines Super Target as well.
Sincerely,
Jazlyn
PS- I stopped at my local Dahl's grocery store on my way home where they graciously exchanged my money into quarters-- and they're not even a bank.
Labor Day. What a beautiful invention. What are you doing for Labor Day?
I have my little alarm set for 5 am tomorrow. Early bird gets the window seat. I am flying into LaGuardia during one of the dumbest times to be in NYC. I'm not sure I can handle all of those Republicans running around...
Anyway, my fabulous brother-in-law is officially a saint- and is picking us up at noon. Next comes: grilling out, a day in Boston, a car show, a bar called C.O.Jones (put it together- figure it out), family times with my sister's in-laws (aka- funniest family I've met), and hopefully setting up my sister with a blog too! Not to mention no work until next Wednesday.
Does it get any better???
When I said bye to the babies, I really meant it.
Jesse checked them out when he was home last Saturday. Here's the update:
Oscar: Seems to be doing just fine! Or WAS, until some unidentified asshole ATE him. All that is left is a little 1 inch stump. Oscar may now be referred to as 'Stumpy'.
But he's the lucky one!
Peanut: Gone. As in-- there is currently a fence around NOTHING. No leaves, no trunk, no roots. Nada. Peanut may now be referred to as 'MIA'.
I nearly cried. My father said, 'That's why you don't name trees!'
When are the next ones going out? As soon as we have the materials to build FORT KNOX around them.
If you were paying attention last April, I told a story about my boyfriend, his obsession with trees, and most importantly, our discovery of sprouting acorns. Here's an excerpt:
I have never seen an acorn sprout- and unbelievably- neither had Jesse. We put some in our pockets, zoomed to the store to buy some pots and dirt, and planted them. We now have *8* little oak trees growing in my apartment! ...
We have named them: Red Wood, Tinker, Oscar, Apricot, Bert, Peanut, Gorgon (Gorgy) and Gumball.
My mother recently downgraded from a house to an apartment. This move also downgraded the space she has to store my crap.
She is demanding that my siblings and I sort through the assorted books, games and toys from our childhood that until recently, took refuge in her attic or basement.
The most horrific thing I have come across so far: a cabbage patch kid. Not just a cabbage patch kid.
A cabbage patch kid with flaming red hair-
and a MULLET.
Here's a little story I had the pleasure of witnessing.
I have a friend. Her name is Angie. She grew up on a farm near Popejoy, Iowa. Popejoy has a population of 70. Each year, the people from Popejoy and all of their lineage gather for Popejoy Days. It is called this even though it only lasts for one day.
Angie has a brother, Jeff, that is married and lives in Kansas City. He has two children- Sean (3), and Rachel (8 mos). Sean is a 'city boy', but he has a deep love for tractors that makes Grandpa Don's his favorite destination.
The highlight of Popejoy Days this year was a raffle. The prizes included various amounts of cash with the grand prize of a tractor. Not a huge tractor you can imagine plowing up a field, but a small tractor, about 4 feet tall that's good for dragging things around.
Angie's entire family bought raffle tickets. Probably 50-80 tickets between them. Angie had some, Jeff, Sean- even Rachel- everyone was up for the prizes. Sean kept asking to sit on the tractor. Angie humored him and told him that even HE could win that tractor- and if he did, he could sit on it whenever he wanted!
I don't think a 3-year-old knows what 'could' means. So Sean thought that the tractor was his. Now he wanted to go and sit on HIS tractor. Jeff was not happy with Ang. How in the world would they tell him that the tractor was not his??
So they drew the winner.
And Sean won.
The 3-year-old owner was not surprised or impressed when his name was called-- the tractor had been his for awhile now! He marched right up and climbed aboard. It couldn't have gone to a more deserving boy- city or otherwise.
I'm back in the saddle again. After a much needed break from the Blogging World, I feel that I have something to contribute again.
Thanks for stopping.
Each summer, around 10,000 crazies participate in a little thing in Iowa called RAGBRAI. The Register's Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa. This consists of dipping a tire in the Missouri River on an early Sunday morning on the west side of the state, followed by a week-long trek to dip a tire in the Mississippi River on the east side of the state. I'm leaving out all of the details in the middle, which can be summed up as: hills and booze.
From my experiences meeting people that are not from the Midwest, when they think of Iowa----- wait- they don't. They usually think of Ohio or Idaho...
Me: "I'm from Iowa."
Moron: "Oh! Potatoes!"
Me: "No. Corn. And education."
So, the slightly more informed non-Iowan will probably think of the heartland as: flat land, made up of fields of corn, small towns and... not much else.
WELL- let me just set the record straight by saying we also grow soy beans, we have 4 non-small towns, and the state is NOT flat. And... not much else.
In that spirit, when RAGBRAI comes through town, it is an EVENT! I am traveling an hour and a half back to my hometown tonight to celebrate at an 'overnight' location. This means that super tired bike riders will be entertained with music, food, beer gardens and the like. Screw the bikes- I just want the party! I even took the day off tomorrow in anticipation of necessary recovery time.
**Flashback- Jessica- remember when we were in HS, and we went to the overnight in Chuck-town with Libby? Ooohhhh myyyy... **
My partner in crime tonight is Kristin. Tully will be there too. I may or may not have stories from tonight that I may or may not share... we will see...
It is the state law in Iowa that a landlord must paint the walls of an apartment before each new tenant moves in. My apartment was built in 1951. There could be 20-30 layers of paint on these walls! My question is this:
Do you suppose my apartment is smaller with each coat? Like- the walls are getting closer??
Tuesday is Chooseday. This is found each Tuesday over at TJ's.
Today's questions are pulled from the book that started the whole concept of tuesday is chooseday. It's called zobmondo. And now, there's even a zobmondo board game. Breaks the ice at parties...
1. run a mile with a cracked shinbone OR do 50 situps with a cracked tailbone?
--I'm thinking sit-ups. I wouldn't want to run a mile with fully functioning bones! And I suppose it would be easier to do things-- like take breaks and whine...
2. be stuck beside somebody with horrible body odor on a crowded subway car for 10 stops OR against someone with an obvious erection on a long elevator ride?
--No erections please. BO is pretty nasty, but-- it's not an erection.
3. feed your children by regurgitation OR have to lick them to bathe them?
--Tough one... but I gotta choose the regurgitation! Ew. But can you imagine LICKING someone to clean them? I don't care WHO it is.
4. while still living, get a glimpse of heaven OR hell?
--Hell. Then I'll know what I'm trying to avoid. The ULTIMATE motivator.
